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| What a day! okay so first I woke up feeling like shit. Main explanation
to that is 'coz I slept feeling like one already. So here's the catch,
I'm a really jealous type of chick and I'm selfish when it comes to the
person I... ahm... well.. love is the word. I know how guys in general
roll. I know how they all do their thing and during my lifetime I
havn't came up to a valid reason why they do such things. You see, I've
cried before and I can't afford to cry that much again so I'm having
this barrier around me. It's tragic. It's paranoia. Everytime a girl
that I don't know would text me in the middle of the night, I freak.
Startled is more of the word for it but it's a completely different
story when it's 4 diff girls txting at the same time right?? Guys
easily give in to temptations, i know that for a fact that's why I'm
scared that if I start being boring or my time with him starts to wear
off.. he'd go fly to another. I just can't afford losing this one
anymore. I've spent the best of my best months with him.. You know, I
never intended to be sucked into this 'need and love' thing, I hate
this feeling so much. I hate love but it's inevitable and he's got me
in such a vulnerable condition. I love him so damn much, too much.. God
help me.
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| just done reading entries from u guys.. wow! im jelous., im not working here.. lols.. i dont have a freakin job! bummin off my parents but working my ass off in school. id rather work though, but yea.. parents know best ryt?? hmm.. anyways, ive been here for like 2 years i think and so far, its hard yet exciting. haha weird eh? well, living alone here is not as easy as living alone there. see here, its completely the opposite. people are slack, they have nothing better to do but juz bum around.. sing at karaokes, party,. go shopping and stuff like that and they say philippines is a plce of poverty?? i dont think so, for some reason they get by with just little money and they make the most of it. they may have the biggest problems but they just smile it out. canada seem so depressing compared here. lols. but yea, i cant wait to head back there and tell u guys crazy stories! ive got lots stored in my memory here.. =) missing u all... | | |
| so no one uses xanga anymre since that facebook thingy came out eh? lol so.... im bored... and when im bored, i reminisce. thats not a good thing. some of d thoughts i had; ` walking from joyce to metrotown with bel bel and dorothy
` drinkin' cafe americano with Mike
` muching on sunchip and those strawberry marshmallows with dip
` chillen' at chris' house
` drinking at JD's apt and getting sooooo wasted
` halloween and i was working... kids felt bad that i was working so they spared me some of their chocolates and candies through drive thru.. lol
` picking up my mom at work then eating at a viet or at a jap resto
' drinking loads of bubble tea
` listening to poonam blab about hockey... lol
` going to the beach with karen and the crew..
` picnic at the park.. waterfight
` SUBWAY =D
` hittin' the gym..
` walking around downtown
` having diner with the group...
` nightmarket
` watching loc and the others play video games for hours..
` walking hand in hand along baywalk
` hours and hours of phone calls everyday
` drinkin' frapps at gateway.. MOA... sm north
` the cuddling.. the kissing..
` one on one drinking.
` sleepovers
` driving along the highway.. stolen kisses..
` sneaking out.. going to san miguel just to surprise him
` random i love you's
` the most hearbreaking phone call
` buckets of tears
` speed driving while drunk
` accidents
` seeing him kiss another girl
` ..trying to move on
` moved on?
see? its not good when i reminisce.. | | |
| fuckk manh, its all comin back to me... im supposed to be HAPPY now. damn it... ill make myself believe im happy now. does that work? GRRRrrrr! | | |
| ...happy. after 4 long months of bitterness.. im happy for reasons i cant exactly point out for now. =D | | |
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